Love is supposed to be pure , the strongest of strongest bonds. Some kind of unbreakable union of two people, and one of the most positive and beautiful concepts that we have. But it's a lie.
Why do I say this? Well for starters I've been alive for around 20 years and I'm pretty sure I've never ever felt this emotion. I'm beginning to doubt anyone else has either. There are lots of people out there who say "I Love Her" or "I Love Him" shortly after meeting, or if they never ever even get to know the person. It's all exciting and fun dreaming about what you will never have, I know because I'm guilty as charged. Whoa... that PERFECT girl, but watch out, better keep my distance, because Lord if I actually see her for real, she'll never measure up to those ideals in my head.
What I am sure exists is lust. That I feel everyday, and it brings about strange and confusing feelings of something that mimics the concept of love. But I know from experience that its short lived, a temporary madness. Now maybe you're saying this guy is completely heartless (Thank You!), but hold your horses!
Once I met this girl, and we hit it off so well. It was like magic, I felt like this was the shit, I would do anything for her, blady blady blah. But due to circumstances we were separated. So a year later I was really excited to meet her, but when I saw her again it had all fizzled out and I was thinking 'Oh my God... what the hell was I thinking?' I can assure you that if I had stuck with this girl the previous time, silly little thoughts of "Marriage" would no doubt have entered my mind. But I wonder if I had somehow gotten married... where the hell would I be now? In hell probably after everything fizzled out.
A friend of mine met this Girl some time back, and he was like madly in 'Love', everything is 'perfect' he told me. 'We're planning on getting married!' I was like "What? How long have you been dating her?' The shocking answer? 3 Weeks! Naturally I warned him of madness. I don't think he took heed.
I wonder just how many people end up getting married after enjoying the exciting start... don't they know the expression 'the honeymoon's over?' But I think divorce rates are on the rise... too bad it's not what's sold in the media.
A teacher of mine once attacked the institution of marriage, but me being a robot drone at the time, I wouldn't even consider the possibility. The argument was that long ago people got married at 16. The guy would enjoy that 'HAPPY TIME :)' shortly before going off to war where he would soon die. And I'm talking medieval times as well as ancient civilizations and further back in to the past, going back to marriage's extremely ancient origins. Is it still relevant today?
I also heard a statement a few years ago that astounded me. Brainwashed by all the popular lovey dovey media like so many people, it always seemed so cool to have that relationship that would have to endure all kinds of hardships. You know like that everyone is against it thing including the government and the World! How exciting.... Woooh! Just like da Movies!
But then this person says something that gobsmacks me. The statement went something like this "Most people believe that its hardest to have a relationship during the hard times, when so many things are against it. The truth is the hardest time in a relationship is when everything is going fine... just plain ordinary fine, no excitement." That's very true, it's all easy to feel excited and all if you're fighting the EVIL EMPIRE to save your girls life, but if its just doing the groceries or something... hmmm... not cool! Dealing with the mundane, pretty much what everyone experiences everyday is way harder than dealing with insurmountable odds when it comes to love!
I ask you this... if Love is some unbreakable bond as advertised, how can we ever hear the line "I don't love you anymore?"
Love is a beautiful concept... but is it real? I leave with the latest piece of media that has come my way depicting this beautiful and ideal love. It's a nice fantasy... but just a fantasy nonetheless.
Love exist, it is the foreplay. BTW, nothing is everlasting.
ReplyDeleteHow else can one justify something absurdly insane like marriage?
ReplyDeleteBelieving in love is kind of like believing in religion. People know it's not true, but it's easier than facing the truth. More or less, taking the blue pill.
got agree with Me.. Foxhound sorry bro but i think love exists... personally i think love is like god... somethings just can't be explained without it
ReplyDeleteAnd for different people love can mean different things (like god)... I mean biologically speaking it would be advantageous for both males and females not to stick to one partner.. the whole survival of the fittest thing... i dont think anything else can explain why humans are different...
love is NOT god! GOd is fake! LOVe is just a fuckin feelin! thats all! keep it simple! nywys its kool to be heartless some times! ya kno when!
ReplyDeletehmmm...well quite interesting, you cant deny that Love doesn't exist or its not real. It all comes down to individuals and the way they perceive it...
ReplyDeleteSee your friend u talked abt, i dont know what happend later, but over those three weeks he believed that he has found true love...Even though u advised him he wouldn't buy it because at that very moment he was experiencing, to his knowledge true love and i guess thats all that matters.
Not only in the topic of love but this can b related to many other broader areas as well...
People generally tend to make decisions, build perceptions from what is around them and what stimulates them, These decisions may not be universally correct, but at that very moment under the given circumstances they choose to believe in that.
Even in love, u can not say it exists or doesn't, because it all comes down to the individual who choose to believe in it. After all Love is a feeling...
@kalukumaraya... i didint say love is god... i said it is LIKE god...
ReplyDeleteAnd its difficult to make sweepin statements on god's existence in any case.
These days LOVE IS IN THE AIR i suppose in blog sphere.
ReplyDeleteLove is certainly a truth but i can't define it or set boundaries to it but it's everywhere in different sizes and shapes...
one day when you are in that situation you'll know it Foxy...
It exists... not a mere fantasy. it's much more than that!
i don't say this too often
ReplyDeletebut i got to AGREE with DRG!!!!
someday u'll find out foxy boi! and for godsake i hope u know what to do!
lovely post.. why? because you speak for most people. Everyone faced, is facing and even will face this 'absence of the honeymoon period' one way or the other. if you say LOVE does not exist.. then we have to consider what your definition for love is. Is it this Disney movie type or lame fiction kind you're talking about? Love does exist.. but it comes after the honeymoon period. Love is not just something that you feel. It's a decision, a choice. Love is when you say 'this person right in front of me, I decide to spend my whole life together even if there is no spark anymore'
ReplyDeleteu said this. 'Whoa... that PERFECT girl, but watch out, better keep my distance, because Lord if I actually see her for real, she'll never measure up to those ideals in my head'. well.. for sure you will never love, unless you stop having ideals. Love, like I said i a choice, a decision... so if you love, then you would love whether that person measures up or not.
I'm with my boyfriend for almost a year now. No crazy sparks anymore. honeymoon's over. But we are best friends. and we do our normal thing. and happy as ever. the most important thing is, we need to TRUST that we are loved. But we have a tendency to say 'there's no love anymore' just coz the sparks are gone. Love is something you accept as having. not something you seek forever.
I'm sure you are a lovable person and you will love too, once the choice is made between you and that other person! :D
Guy
love sux! sex rox!
ReplyDelete@ Ape Logic: You are saying that love is only needed to start a relationship and then it dies off?
ReplyDelete@ Me: That's very true
@ Bawa and DRG: Not sure if you guys noticed, but part of my post is saying that lots of people 'fall in love' far too easily.
@ Guy: Thanks for that mature and well thought out reply. I agree with you that real love isn't a roller coaster ride. As everyone knows, despite how good a roller coaster is, it eventually comes to a stop.
Fox hound, i TOTALLy agree with you. LOVE certainly and definitely does exists but it depends on individuals. True love is only experienced when you give a Truly loving experience to the other. if your definition of love is closely linked with infatuation and lust, you know what you'll get.
ReplyDeleteFor me, Love exists, not all over the world but in our hearts, unique to each and everyone of us, just like God.
infatuation or attractiveness may be a start but IF there's TRUE love, that'l last till the end!
All bloody bollocks...I stick to the overused statement that love is nothing but a state of mind where everything is momentarily ooh la la.
ReplyDeleteHowever,
I am a sucker for that particular state of mind! =)
Well aren't you just a ray of sunshine
ReplyDeleteWell You do have a point, especially the "I don't love you anymore" part. But sometimes, you do find it,in very rare occasions, where you can just be in the same room, across from each other and feel this huge force. That's love to me. This happened after 3 years following my break up with the guy, and it still was there. Despite all the hurt he caused me. That's what loves is. No matter the in betweens, the pure emotion. When you see them, and you cheeks feel warm . . . and you don't want to look at them but end up looking at them. That is love! It may not be the same love it used to be because there was more, but if this was as strong as it is now. Love can last and Love is no lie.
The person I am currently going out with and I share another form of love. Just as strong. Just as emotional. But there's no need to go there because this love is alive and kicking ;)
And there's no definition of love. It can be anything. But then again that's another topic all together.
Have hope my friend. There is Love.
I feel the same way you do.I one time loved a girl so much,but somehow that 'love' faded somehow and I had expected I would like her forever.Very few people know what true love is,and there are some people like us that dont really think we have ever felt love.It is not just asking out some pretty face,if anything it is a step process of getting to know the person,becoming very close friends with them,and a bond forms where you need to be with the person every single second.Is this 'need' just temporary?
ReplyDeleteI think we wish to feel love because it is human nature.I do not understand love yet,maybe and there is love,maybe even true love for some people,just not forever love.
If forever love is real how come almost more then half of every kid doesent have a father now a days? our lust to feel love has its downfall in the future.
well,you know most of us unfortunately have to go through heartache when it comes to love.True enough,it's only natural to feel that love is totally fake when at a certain point in time we share pure intimacy with someone just to findout it was all a lie.
ReplyDeleteI have been through enough and more pain for the last year because my so called better half tore my heart in to pieces before he walked out of my life..but that was not enough to take away the hope that still lives within me somewhere to keep me hoping and believeing in love.It's the one thing in this world that would keep us alive nomatter how bad the pain it created within our lives in the past.We all do need love in some form.It's just a matter believeing...as love comes to those who believe in it..Love is real if you love the right person.Keep believing...Love will find it's way to you:)!