Monday, July 27, 2009

My Wings

I crawled in to the box on all fours,
my face to the floor,
I did my best from here until I realized
I could stand on my haunches
But they came with the stick and said
"Back to the floor you filthy animal"
So back I went... but soon after I rose again
Then one day I realized I could stand
But they came with the stick and said
"Back to the floor you filthy animal"
But I only went back to my haunches
Quietly I stood up again.
Then one day I realized I had wings and I could fly.
Soon I started to ascend to the heavens
But I found only the glass ceiling at the top.
Circling, circling I tried to go higher, but I could not.
The box was all there was... but I didn't want to be inside it.
They all said "Leave the box? Are you crazy? You won't be able to fly anymore"
So I cut my wings and crashed to the floor.
I started to crawl out of the box
They hit me with the stick, spat on me and kicked me in the rear
Still, slowly I crawled back out in to the world...
but I had lost my wings

Saturday, July 25, 2009

I wanna be a Manager

Isn't that the typical answer most people give when asked in an interview of where they will see themselves in 10 years? Its the answer I always gave because I couldn't really think of anything else. I usually got replies like "that's what all the guys say... I want to be a manager... full stop." At the time I used to get pissed off thinking "what the fark else do you except me to say? I don't even know anything about working"

But you know what... I don't think I really want to be a manager just yet. This word is loosely used to mean 'big important dude with big salary". But to tell you the truth being a manager is a big pain in the ass and I don't think I'm ready to become one.

Now its not that I can't be a good manager or that I can't handle it. Anyone can be a manager. No, really. But being a good manager... now that's something else entirely and requires a good dose of leadership skills. People have to follow you, and respect you. Otherwise you're just a joke.

Let me insert a little anecdote from my last year at ACBT. We had a subject based entirely on project work, so the team aspect became vital. I joined this team with the impressive 6 foot dude that came equipped with a subwoofer for vocals, along with a good friend of mine in addition to some girls known to us.

Everything went well at the start. Our fearless leader regularly stood up and gave big speeches. His initial speech went on to give an outstanding but vague outline on the entire project and went so far as to talk about the printing costs and how they would be split. I was impressed... this guy had everything planned out.

But then the second meeting came along... another big speech, and again the printing costs. The meeting ended with nothing. Then a third... and a fourth. I soon realized that nothing was actually ever getting done. Everyone bitched behind our leader's back and nodded "we must do something." But each and every meeting nobody said a thing.

Things were looking very bad and our meetings with our client were also going nowhere as a result. This was the point where I intervened. I guess I didn't really do it the best possible way looking back at it, but I did the best I could with my abilities at the time. One meeting the client wasn't there so we were forced to come back later. I told our fearless leader along with the others "lets come back tomorrow"... but really I told everyone else to stay.

We waited and had our first successful meeting that day, and it was from this point onward things started to actually move. But even by this point we were way behind all the other groups. The only thing I regret was not openly confronting that guy. I think I had argued with him, but he was one of those types that argues about something completely unrelated in a loud and violent fashion. I wasn't really up for a fight back in the day. So I resorted to the sneak tactic. Not exactly my proudest moment... but I did what I could and I got it done.

But even after that I ended driving the whole thing. I kept up regular mails to everyone about the progress which I was doing whilst talking to Fearless Leader's second in command (the metal head). Metal head was the most vocal opposition for FL... but only behind his back. He like FL also lied a lot... which caused some confusion. Metal head also didn't do as much as I did, claimed that he did and complained constantly that I did nothing. Which is quite frankly bizzare to me.

I definitely ended up doing at least 50% of the work. That was another mistake on my part. I really should have delegated more in the end but I guess I really did want to play the hero... afterall doesn't everyone? Still everyone contributed especially more towards the end and I'm confident that if there was more to do and more months... that's the way it would have been afterward.

At the end we had to review each other and give feedback. My team members all gave me very positive feedback. I was kinda surprised since I took a lot of flak from metalhead the whole way through, but I guess the others kept silent. There was a lot of fighting in the group mainly between Metal Head, FL and me, so it wasn't particularly fun.

Now FL was the *SUBWOOFER* "TEAM LEADER" *SUBWOOFER* and Metal Head was "SECOND IN COMMAND" oooohhh. But in the end neither of those guys was up to leading. They wanted it so badly like little kids but I don't think they know what it entails. I remember talking to my good friend and team member about it on the way home. I was pretty worried since the big talk cost us a lot of time. So I just went ahead and drove straight in to it one night just going like a machine, and kept going along with the constant e-mail updates. It wasn't fun... I was motivated by fear of failing. Really I'd do it again, but only if I have to.

So I don't see what the rush is to become a manager. Some people I know want to be one as soon as possible. But why? There is so much pressure and stress associated with it. Sure you can impress your friends and the ladies with "I'm a manager..." and gain some perceived self worth in the eyes of the world... but beyond that? Is that really going to make you happy? I'm settling to be a worker for now... be a manager in ten years should I want the job. From what I've seen it takes a long time to be a manager in most places unless your awesomely talented, and I think maybe there is a reason for that. Maybe you really need to experience a lot and become seasoned before you can be a good manager. I think its true when the older guys say "these young guys all want to be managers... just like that".

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

The Belgian Chocolate Shop

Oh be still my beating heart... and dibs on the chocolate brown boobs!

All pictures supplied by a 'kind' friend...

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Good old days; when life used to turn around Ananda, Promedia at Green Path and my boom box…

It was middle of 2002, if I am not mistaken; I first met this bugger called realskullzero.
Even we were in same class in school, the bond got stronger due to our close accompaniment with the college interact club and most importantly the close association with music. We both excelled in our journey by getting selected for the executive committee in 2005 and most importantly it paved the way for a beautiful friendship.
The time was less troublesome those days. There was nothing to worry about the career, savings or about future like today. Other than education, our main goal used to collect some money to buy audio CDs from Promedia. The main channel I used is 2 rupees saving from daily bus fare because my mom gives 10 rupees to go from Maharagama to Town Hall and the fare is merely 8 rupees at that time. (Oh! Dear… what inflation has done to our country?). The task was tedious one but still we somehow managed to visit the CD shop 1 or 2 times per month to burn our savings to own some of the world’s greatest music.
The journey merely by foot from Maradana to Townhall or may be all the way to the Green Path but it was fun. On the way the subjects from all around the world came in to light for our discussions, mostly music, politics, cinema or may be even girls. We agreed on some, disagreed many times but ultimately all our mouthful criss-cross ended in front of our music Mecca, signaling that it is time for some shopping…
When Skull used to look for RATM’s battle of Los Angeles, I tend to go for 2pac’s Until The End of Time or may be for some old school rap. Sometimes when I didn’t have money to buy, still I joined with him then I can borrow one album to listen when he buys two. The next day it was all about criticism or may be some game CDs he bought. Our old friend Ninja should be mentioned here too. In one interact district conference, we two went on running and headbanging to Seven Nation Army performed by Azlan’s early outfit; Cold Fusion all over the Joe hall because we had to catch Ninja who was busy with getting signatures from every girl he can find on the spot. Oh! How wonderful that time was…
Love for music then turned for other thing. We two somehow want to form a band, first it was a metal one but because of the scarcity of resources we shifted to hip hop. We want to go for bigger things like performing onstage or taking part in Royal talent search. We didn’t have a clue on how to get things done or how hard it is but still we tried harder to make our dream a reality. We have seen the performances for some time and we just want be in that position like them. After 6 years I’m proud to say that the dream has been fulfilled for some extent.
Things are changed now. Because of anti-piracy measures, no more new albums coming to shops, Promedia is now defunct and you can’t even walk freely in that area due to high security measures. But two things didn’t change. That is our love for music and our friendship. The shapes and sizes of our dreams changed but still the core is the same.
I wish to see again, one fat guy and other totally skinny, in their late teens, dressed in school uniform, walking with their heavy bags on Norris Canal Road talking about myriad of topics and the whole world at their feet. Yes I want to and I’m sure I will.

Saturday, July 4, 2009