Saturday, November 8, 2008

Using Your Diary to Feed Off Depression….

I love it, or rather I used to. But now I have intentionally kept away from it. Its time consuming, depressive and hurl you into a downward spiral of emotional anarchy. Well cant help it but i am quite an emotional person, most people can read it off me, but what the hell...

Yeah I know it’s creepy but dwelling on emotions and getting a ridiculous sense of self-satisfaction is something I used to do quite often in the past. It helped me in dire situations, gave me a sense of belonging when everything seemed to have left me and kept me alone.

I know quite a few people who have their own personal diaries, poetry books and all sorts of material to deal with personal emations. Poetry did help but its not quite as effective as directly talking off an issue. My diary is like my own life mirror made of ink and paper. It reflects series of days in mylife which I had time to note down. Though it started off as a well documented journal which kept track of what I did through those days,(as i tend to have a short memory) but it later became my own personal refuge.

I would down pour my thoughts ideas and intentions, debate with myself and create another aspect of myself which most of my friends did not even know. These out poured thoughts resembled failures, secrets and utterfoolsih ideas and even political and social issues that roamed my mind.

The tremendous amount of work, time spent on studies and tight schedules have distanced me from what I used to be. These days I don’t think that much compared to past where I used to get lost in my own imagination exploring vivid dreams, personalities and come out with all kinds of judgments. Well yeah I know it’s just the thinking process any human has, but as some of my friends know, I some times spend too much time over things which anyone else would make up their mind easily. Any way these observations helped me to deal with people, to make wrong choices and sometimes to make my life more miserable than before…

But I still maintain my diary, though not as frequent as during those days. In fact I have put down only a few notes for the whole year, compared to past where I used to have long dragging pages dedicated even for few days. Even this post that i am writing now would have ended up in my diary if it weren't for the

Well… as I have seen, the bloggersphere has also become some kind of a personal refuge for many people. It has become a place where they would come out of their shells, share their thoughts and personal sentiments with likeminded individuals(or not!). Pass out subliminal messages, talk off politics and hit out senselessly which they might not be able to do physically in the real world. I have seen this in form of various types of creative writting, poetry and vivid images. if you think about it,one can term the whole bloggerspher or rather Kottu as a huge mashed up diary....


  1. U r quite right on this issue, I've read many blogs , People do enjoy , writing their whereabouts, emotions and feelings on public space . I think it gives some kind of a pleasure to them(including me) when their lives are highly appreciated. this is some kind of an addiction And its definitely a good way to throw out all those thoughts trembling in one's mind.

  2. hmmm... i wonder if ur diary mentions of a certain steam iron!!! imao

  3. ur ryt about the kottu=diary bit. lol huge amulgamation of personal information i think :) its great in a way though. i think its a positive thing if people are more expressive openly. in a forum where others are not FORCED to listen to them, it creates a bit of a balance.

  4. Hmm... Life consumes you, you have to find something to make you happy. At times writing is one.

    And as for blogging, there's so many out there. I prefer the privacy activated ones for my journal.

    And as for Kottu, it is a mashed up diary of community per say.

    Anyways, man. I think you should let your feeling flow . . .As for me writing in my diary, let me put to words things I would never realise until I write it. Its a huge sense of realisation.

    Good Luck RSZ! Heres a hug

  5. Well its has to do with the fact that the net is fairly anonymous, so you can say what you like without any real life reprisal. It also has to do with the fact that people don't really express what they feel.

    No one else is going to read your diary (hopefully!) so you can be pretty bloody honest.