Friday, July 4, 2008

Opposites Attract or Repel?

“I go two steps forward,
You go two steps back
We come together
’cause Opposites Attract”

Paula Abdul sang these words with all the confidence and certainty she could muster, along with her remarkable choreography, but how true is it really? Do opposite interests, values and mind sets actually magnetize in romance? Or is love much safer, certain and long lasting with similar minds and ways?

For some time of my life I have believed on the latter. This is not just based on the movies or novels we come across that talk of lovers so alike in minds and ways that one can finish the other’s sentences exactly as originally intended. Rather this belief was supported by what’s seemingly obvious-it is so easy to think of happily ever after when both lovers have the same likes and dislikes, when one can please the other effortlessly with what he/she likes himself/herself. There will hardly be any sacrifices and/or instances when one party will just have to “put up” patiently with what the other party does or doesn’t do.

In fact, both can enjoy the same things what they’ve always enjoyed in life, both can associate the same set of friends without one party feeling left out, both can easily decide for the other when needed without causing disappointments and basically a relationship between “peas in a pod” would be as calm, loving and everlasting as any fairy tale love story… Or will it?

Will there be instances where lack of novelty and challenge will decrease the passion to keep the relationship going? (For it is a well experienced fact that everything is easy to achieve and hard to maintain) Will monotony and dullness overcome excitement and enthusiasm? Will the “peas in a pod” get bored of each other because they can find nothing fresh and exciting in their partner that will take them by surprise?

On the other hand, imagining a situation where two people with totally different interests and values get “attracted” (may be a full body tattooed hard rock fan and a bespectacled nerdy full time scholar whose whole life is spent in the quietness of libraries). There are a few ‘endings’ that I can think of; either they wisely give up the relationship before they start hating each other out of sheer irritation and inability to cope up with one another; or they live happily ever after having the time of their lives because everyday is a challenge to keep on falling in love with your partner doing things you never dreamed of doing before; or they survive or struggle somewhere in the middle of things, trying to ‘balance’ the prizes and sacrifices.

Trying hard to remain unbiased, I have recently come to believe that “opposite” attitudes and ideals will actually work and work very well because being “different” will ensure the freshness of the relationship, for the reason that in one way both parties will feel good about themselves when doing things they’ve never attempted before just for their partner and they will feel even better when they receive these returns from their partner. Further more, they will never take each other for granted and thus the fire and spirit of the affair will never be blown away by the ill winds of monotonous boredom.

Love changes everything they say and hence in “opposites attract” situations we will find rock fans singing classics and bookworms clubbing till morning, non-sporty painters playing rugby(or trying to) and never-read-a-book-in-my-life folks combing libraries for novels, pizza fanatics spending more time in Indian restaurants and anti-heights people doing ski-diving…

It is not right and not possible to say which way is better or which way will ensure that two budding love birds will grow old together, but as long as things work out well and lovingly, being synonyms or antonyms really doesn’t seem to matter much.

“Don't think we'll ever

get our differences patched.

Don't really matter

’cause we're perfectly matched”

(Paula Abdul)


  1. Hello there,
    Firstly let me introduce myself, I'm Jake and live in England.
    I think that your post is totally true and anyone can relate to it.
    Keep up the good work and i look forward to your next post.

  2. I totally agree. I thought matching personalities would work, but really it's bloody boring as hell.

    Since I'm a part time goody two shoes, I'm more likely get along with those 'trashy been around' women best! Like someone I know who always calls me Bitch!

  3. wow!! Foxhound, i really honestly hope you get someone like that (wink wink)...

    well, "goody two shoes", i also agree that matching personalities would end up getting bored as the days go by.. but then again, i guess there are some romances which seem to work that way too-kinda hard to find trends..