Stay Home!

We told them to stay at home. We told them to take care of things. Let us handle all the hard work because only we can.

Stay at home, cook, clean and look after the kids. And they believed us because they believed we knew what was best for them. So did we.

But then one day we went to war. Many of us died, many of us remained on the frontlines. But back at home, there were no one to make the bread or the bullets and guns that we so desperately needed to fight.

So we called on them. We asked them to come and help us. 'Man' the factories, bake the bread for we were too busy fighting. They came and did their part. They put on the work overalls and the trousers and did what we told them they could not. While we fought, they mimicked our roles in life.

But once the battle was over, we realized that perhaps we didn't give them as much credit as we should have. We told our daughters, wives and mothers that staying at home was all they were good for, but they proved us wrong.

Since 'manning' up in that Second War they have remained at our sides rather than in the sidelines.

An Impromptu Song

Born from a powercut...

Caution: The word 'action' should be taken lightly. You pervs!

A 2 Year Old Comes for a Quickie

To live is to struggle
Our problems we juggle
Our worries we bury
Too much Emotion
Treat with Caution

Hold On Hold On
Lift a shield, defend
Gotta get through this bend
and so many others
For the ride to the Beyond
is a long one

Eye See a Rainbow

So I just happened to be caught in a conversation between two dog lovers during which a dog with two different eye colours was brought up. I say "that happens in humans as well". The reaction is "get out of here", that's not possible. Essentially that it is absurd.

So recalling it now I did some checking and surprise surprise, its called "Complete Heterochromia". Plain Heterochromia involves slight variations in eye colour.

Now I shall treat myself a proverbial cookie because I'm an arrogant SOB!

Creatures of the Night

So I'm strolling home when I'm confronted by these strange things proceeding across a telephone line. I tried to get a good snap, and my phone showed an excellent picture of one of them silhouetted perfectly against the sky, but it actually snaps what comes a second afterward...sigh.

These are apparently pretty common, but I haven't seen them before. I've seen bats, but not these. However I don't think its time to open an X-file just yet...

Creep Cover

Love this song...

Thanks to Matyrhead for giving the Korn acoustic cover eons ago...

Anger Anger

I barely slept at all last night. A simple fact. I'm deeply troubled at the state of my very good friend. A friend who helped me through an extremely tough time, a person unlike any other person I've ever met in my entire life.

This person is smart, funny, beautiful and much bloody more, so when I see her in trouble and pain it pisses me off to no end. I want to resort to violence, but there is no one really to hit, nothing to break. It's not that easy, it's not that simple.

I feel totally helpless because there's nothing I can do. I want to say more, explain everything but that would probably only end up hurting her if I reveal to much. I've realized so much in a space of a few hours. She really doesn't deserve this, but she is a victim of her circumstances that make her the wonderful person she is... and I feel she is forever destined to repeat her current situation. She is unable to break the predictable pattern. She is chained in a manner beyond physical bondage.

There's nothing I can do.

This post is but a pinprick of everything that's running through my head right now, but I can't even talk about it. Even Worse.

My Wings

I crawled in to the box on all fours,
my face to the floor,
I did my best from here until I realized
I could stand on my haunches
But they came with the stick and said
"Back to the floor you filthy animal"
So back I went... but soon after I rose again
Then one day I realized I could stand
But they came with the stick and said
"Back to the floor you filthy animal"
But I only went back to my haunches
Quietly I stood up again.
Then one day I realized I had wings and I could fly.
Soon I started to ascend to the heavens
But I found only the glass ceiling at the top.
Circling, circling I tried to go higher, but I could not.
The box was all there was... but I didn't want to be inside it.
They all said "Leave the box? Are you crazy? You won't be able to fly anymore"
So I cut my wings and crashed to the floor.
I started to crawl out of the box
They hit me with the stick, spat on me and kicked me in the rear
Still, slowly I crawled back out in to the world...
but I had lost my wings

The Belgian Chocolate Shop

Oh be still my beating heart... and dibs on the chocolate brown boobs!










































All pictures supplied by a 'kind' friend...

Good old days; when life used to turn around Ananda, Promedia at Green Path and my boom box…

It was middle of 2002, if I am not mistaken; I first met this bugger called realskullzero.
Even we were in same class in school, the bond got stronger due to our close accompaniment with the college interact club and most importantly the close association with music. We both excelled in our journey by getting selected for the executive committee in 2005 and most importantly it paved the way for a beautiful friendship.
The time was less troublesome those days. There was nothing to worry about the career, savings or about future like today. Other than education, our main goal used to collect some money to buy audio CDs from Promedia. The main channel I used is 2 rupees saving from daily bus fare because my mom gives 10 rupees to go from Maharagama to Town Hall and the fare is merely 8 rupees at that time. (Oh! Dear… what inflation has done to our country?). The task was tedious one but still we somehow managed to visit the CD shop 1 or 2 times per month to burn our savings to own some of the world’s greatest music.
The journey merely by foot from Maradana to Townhall or may be all the way to the Green Path but it was fun. On the way the subjects from all around the world came in to light for our discussions, mostly music, politics, cinema or may be even girls. We agreed on some, disagreed many times but ultimately all our mouthful criss-cross ended in front of our music Mecca, signaling that it is time for some shopping…
When Skull used to look for RATM’s battle of Los Angeles, I tend to go for 2pac’s Until The End of Time or may be for some old school rap. Sometimes when I didn’t have money to buy, still I joined with him then I can borrow one album to listen when he buys two. The next day it was all about criticism or may be some game CDs he bought. Our old friend Ninja should be mentioned here too. In one interact district conference, we two went on running and headbanging to Seven Nation Army performed by Azlan’s early outfit; Cold Fusion all over the Joe hall because we had to catch Ninja who was busy with getting signatures from every girl he can find on the spot. Oh! How wonderful that time was…
Love for music then turned for other thing. We two somehow want to form a band, first it was a metal one but because of the scarcity of resources we shifted to hip hop. We want to go for bigger things like performing onstage or taking part in Royal talent search. We didn’t have a clue on how to get things done or how hard it is but still we tried harder to make our dream a reality. We have seen the performances for some time and we just want be in that position like them. After 6 years I’m proud to say that the dream has been fulfilled for some extent.
Things are changed now. Because of anti-piracy measures, no more new albums coming to shops, Promedia is now defunct and you can’t even walk freely in that area due to high security measures. But two things didn’t change. That is our love for music and our friendship. The shapes and sizes of our dreams changed but still the core is the same.
I wish to see again, one fat guy and other totally skinny, in their late teens, dressed in school uniform, walking with their heavy bags on Norris Canal Road talking about myriad of topics and the whole world at their feet. Yes I want to and I’m sure I will.

The Hit Single from Foxhound!

Now available at retail outlets everywhere!

Sample Clip!

Picked From the Streets...

Hehee...safe driving people!!

Sri Lankan Porn

A flickering light is projected onto a damaged, slightly yellow and supposedly white back drop…

An awkwardly skewed screen radiates a blinding light ensuing a never-ending headache…

A half-empty film hall absorbs the hot body odor of sweat drenched school uniforms, adding to the damp humidity of the place…

The agonizing noise from the speaker overtakes any scant conversation …beating the eardrums into submission…

After two hours that feels like an eternity… an ugly fat 40 year old woman showers…

Covering her fucking boobs with both of her hands for five minutes…

The only sensation is the surgical pain that is brought upon your ass cheek by a starving dust mite…

And yet people make money off of it...

I am...

It's been a long time since I've seen the sun.
Always in the shadows... always hiding.
The sight of that hopeful sight burns my very skin.

My stomach growls with that tasteless hunger.
Juicy Steak... or fillet, it does nothing for me.
Divine Chocolate might make your mouth water
But for me it tastes only of paper.
For my hunger is empty, only ever needy.

I don't feel, for that part of me
withered away a long time ago.
Oh this endless and shallow hunger.
Will it ever go away?

It's okay, for I only kill the sad, lonely and isolated.
Does anyone really miss them anyway?
But I must... to live.
For I have never thought of death
Except when I died

Oh yes... there was a time when I was like you,
but that was a long time ago.

My life is endless, tiring,
but it goes on and on
for I am a child of the night
a ghost, a wraith, a vampire.

The Red Pill or the Blue Pill?

Inspiring, unbreakable and glamorous; we all have our heroes. They represent something that we aspire to be.

It's the reason we have movies like Rocky, Rambo, Die Hard, The Matrix, or Robocop where the everyday man becomes a hero fighting the oppressive forces around them.

In fiction heroes are exactly who they say they are, but in reality it doesn't seem like it ever is. Why must we believe that these people are something that they are not? No individual human ever really reaches the heights that we attribute to them. It's so much easier to live with the fantasy that the lives of these people are just perfect and that we too can reach this perfection. But I highly doubt this is the case. A recent example would be Obama. People seem to believe he is the answer to the world's problems when it seems to me that he is at the end of the day another politician. The fact that he is black has definitely affected public perception of him, but at the end of the day will he be any different?

But for some reason we expect this. It's the reason so many want to hear miraculous speeches from their politicians. Otherwise we'd never vote for them. So whatever they spout is not based on reality simply because we the voters are not grounded in reality. It's the reason politicians must appear to be happily married and a family guy. But this is hardly ever the reality either.

To quote from the matrix: Do you want the blue pill... or the red pill? 'You take the blue pill and the story ends. You wake in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe.' Seems like so many people want that blue pill.

The problem is people aren't living in reality or are living in very selective reality. Like I was saying before, the movie 'The Matrix' is one big allegory to such a situation. Numerous questions like 'what is 'real'?' are asked in this movie.

We may want to believe in heroes who are going to change the world all by themselves, but the reality is that we need to change the world ourselves.

We can all aspire to reach the dreams of many celebrities with ridiculously large houses and an insane amount of vehicles. But once you get there are you really going to be happy purely with all these possessions? Right now it sounds awesome, but once you get there... well you never know right? Then again think of that last product you bought that you thought would be so awesome and life changing? Do you even remember it as much anymore? Are you looking for the next great thing to buy?

That's why the world hasn't changed in its basest operations. Sure things like women's rights and other similar discrimination issues have decreased, but the world constantly perpetuates on its present course.

Rich land and capital owners on top. The masses of regular working people all trying desperately to claw their way to the top to join the elite. The elite on top do everything in their power to perpuate the current system and maintain their position.

Once we get there then we can ensure that our kids and their kids will always remain on top, creating those elite family names. The choice is if you want to follow the system and climb as far high up the mountain as you can or try breaking the system.

Do I have a solution? No. Like Morpheous said 'Remember -- all I am offering is the truth, nothing more.'

Wake up and question. Find the answers even if they are ones we don't like? Or... continue and follow everything, accept everything and live in blissful ignorance. The choice is yours.

Religion answers all questions and prevents any further growth, but its not the only reason. People also desire the security that a convenient truth offers.This is the main reason why things like Communism will never work unless people themselves reach the next level. Such things would work, but collapse like an organised march as soon as one person turns and runs at the first sign of trouble, everything falls apart as more follow.

If you tell yourself anything, it becomes your reality. The question is... do you want to believe whatever you want to, or find the truth no matter what it is?

Handling the Temptation

Temptation is a very common emotion that all people big, small, male, female, saint, sinner go through. The very sound of the word brings a sense of intense desire. If simply defined, temptation is the feeling of a non-reasonable desire or craving to do something.

This desire may be for both good and bad but it is always close to being impossible to control. We may be tempted to serve that extra helping of pudding, to smoke a cigar just to test it, to cheat an exam with the sole reason of innocent helplessness, to dance in the middle of the mall, to kiss the sexy girl at office out of plain curiosity when you’re not with your lady, etc, etc. Temptations are everywhere but not all of them are good or ethical.

In this post I will only be commenting on the temptation to cheat a lover (at any level), for this appeared to be the talk of the week among my peeps.

The temptation to be with someone other than your lover (this phrase sounds a bit better than going into details such as kissing or making love to) may have knocked on some of our doors. It may be due to the most uncalled for reasons- the “other” being a better match, the “lover” not being who he/she appeared to be initially, the “situation” being pro-temptation, it just being a harmless one night stand, a “slight crush” which you wanted to investigate, etc. I can list down a lot more yet there’s just one simple fact about this natural human weakness and that is there is no such thing as “not having a choice”. The old phrase “I had no choice” is plainly not an innocent excuse because Temptation (which ever one) always comes hand in hand with Choice. All of us make a choice when we decide to fall into or out of temptation.

It’s true that we’re all human and are full of mortal weaknesses and all that “learning from mistakes” talk, but if there’s something common to all of us, it’s freewill and the ability to think. This fact makes the “no choice” phrase highly unacceptable.

So the next time you decide to try out that tempting cigar or chocolate mousse or French kiss, just pause to choose!

Pain, Pain... It's the name of the game.

We all feel it, in so many ways, at different times and with different intensities. Both physical and emotional in nature, it can mean so different things to different people. Most of the pain that graces the blogosphere is typically about the emotional pain, but this post is about the physical.

When it comes to physical pain I’d say I’ve endured my fair share. Everyone goes through the usual stuff when they're kids consisting of cuts and bruises with the occasionally more serious injury. I can remember kissing asphalt with my joints on more than one occasion and looking back at a thick oozing mess where my body touched the ground.

One injury ripped out all the nerves on my knee causing me to lose surface feeling there. In fact when I touch that area I get the unusual feeling of touching a stuffed animal. The reason… I only get the sensation from my finger. That was a pretty painful injury. I can remember putting on trousers was something I used to do with great trepidation at the time because slight contact with my then swollen knee hurt like a bitch and would result in me cursing at the top of my lungs. For a long time I couldn’t kneel down on that knee because it hurt too much (that was my test for seeing how it was doing). 7 years later my knee sometimes still bugs me, but it’s not a major issue anymore.

So what is the point of all the above? Its just the prelude to the real story; the most painful physical experience I’ve ever had. It’s at this point that I’m going to be a little vague, but suffice to say I had to undergo a small surgery. It wasn’t life threatening and only required local anesthetic which I’m not entirely convinced of its effectiveness.

After receiving the shot, the cutting began. I can tell you that despite the anesthetic I could pretty much feel everything. A strange burning sensation akin to having a zipper being pulled over your skin, only much more intense and without cessation. That went on for what I know felt much longer than it actually did. It was pretty painful and was a sensation I had never felt before, but... was bearable.

The End? Sadly not. The worse was yet to come. The second part of this operation I can safely say hurt like a mother. This part definitely went on for a while and so felt like an eternity. Pain, pain pain, burning intense pain, sharp, stinging and burning intensely; that’s what it consisted of.

I can tell you that I’m not really much of a screamer, a curser yes, but not a screamer. But this was seriously pushing the limit, going somewhere I had never been before when it came to pain. Let’s just say I was extremely agitated and squirming despite insistence that I shouldn’t. This unbelievable pain just kept getting bigger and bigger, and went on and on until eventually I reached a completely new place. I had been crying out in the end; it seemed to go on forever. But what happened next really surprised me.

Where do you go once the pain never ends and gets worse and worse? Well quite frankly it blew my mind. I can remember thinking ‘how can it be this painful? This is ridiculous!!! Absurd!!’ It was at this point I did what I never expected would happen. I began to laugh. Slowly at first and then more and more until it was pretty hysterical. Crazy? I think not. The concept of pain at that point of time to me had become completely ludicrous; it was just so much that it seemed outrageous and unreal. How could anything hurt so much? The entire situation seemed such a farce.

The strange laughter carried on till the end of this operation. To say I was relieved when it was over would be an understatement. As I tiredly hobbled away from this experience I was presented with one last gift. My eyesight went all pixilated like some bad 80’s videogame with everything looking like MS Paint on 200% zoom. Shortly afterward I fell over backwards but was fortunately caught by my brother.

Much like with the experience with my knee, even for weeks afterward I would remember the pain and cover away in fear of the remembrance. Fortunately I no longer remember that feeling anymore, just what I was thinking at the time.

I know I know, there are probably or most definitely much worse physical pain experiences out there I’m sure, but for me this was the most painful of them all.

The Getaway

"Damn... they are following us." Shit! Yes they were following us.. one look in the rear view mirror confirmed this. Picture this two old and very pissed off dudes following a little silver Starlet in the middle of rush hour in Colombo.

Don't ask me about the circumstances or who the other person in the car was... i would have revealed that, but since this is not a private blog i'd rather keep that information confidential.

Ok, so here is the story: I turn my car onto what I thought was a secluded lane off Kirula Road. It seemed to be, hardly anyone around, a bunch of tall leafy trees, a couple of dodgy looking canines and desolate houses.

Couple of minutes later, I have these weirdo old dudes who just got off a motorbike tapping on my window... "Get out of the car...or else"

What do I do? I felt the adrenaline hitting my bloodstream and in what must have saved thousands of our ancestors went in to the flight or fight mode. Glanced at my side mirror.. damn its gonna be tough to back outta here without hitting the bike. (I didn't want to scratch the car.. my mum would have gone ballistic!)

Put the gear in reverse, gunned the engine and backed out into the road without a second thought about the oncoming traffic.... I narrowly escaped hitting a green three wheeler with a foreign guy in it... at least he'll have an interesting anecdote about Sri Lankan driving to tell his friends.

The weirdo-old dudes jumped onto the bike and gunned the engine.. put the car into first gear and sped away before they could turn on to the main road...

Fuck! Colombo and its traffic... I am not gonna get anywhere in this shit! The lane demarcated for the cars going the other way seemed more or less empty... Swerved onto that lane, hit the accelerator..told my friend to hold on for dear life....

Passed a very surprised looking security checkpoint.. I still wonder why they didn't stop me.. maybe they were way too surprised and caught off guard! I mean u don't get a car doing 60 kmph on the opposite side of the road at 2 pm in Colombo.

But those idiots were still following us... I was on park road by this time, once again on the wrong side of the road... The red lights were gleaming up ahead and I was about 200 meters away from them, do i make a break for it and risk getting hit by the oncoming traffic?

Hell yeah.... swerving left and right managed avoid the vehicles.. took the turn and whoa I was on the baseline.... no worries anymore! I was in my element here... gunned the engine some more hit and 90.. took a u turn where i wasn't supposed to and turned towards Siebel Avenue... phew we lost them!!

Finally some respite... gave it 10 minutes before I ventured out and as cool as ice put the car back on Baaseline and with the innocence of a driver never breaking the highway code, stopped at the colour lights and waited for them to turn green.

THose guys must have given up by now... hopefully. The lights turned green made a left turn on to Thalakotuwa Lane and I knew I was home and dry...

They don't call me Cools McSlick for nothing.

Have I Ever?

Thanx whackster for the tag. Well its the third time we are being tagged but i guess this time the whole Kottu seems to be in a "Have I Ever" frenzy! So I might as well join in..:D But before I start I have to tell you I suck at these tagged posts…

So here goes nothing..

Have I…

• Spent my entire savings from my salary to go for a gig in India (and being utterly broke in the next few months)..
• Been sober for one week..
• Gone clubbing, come home at 3.00am before sitting for an important exam at 8.00am in the morning..
• Been surrounded by more than five bouncers after my friend tried to sneak out without paying the bill...
• Demanded and taken money from a trishaw driver to hire another trishaw after he said he was out of fuel and couldn’t take us to our destination
• Punched out some Indians.. lol
• Finished a Rockland White rum within 30 mins with two friends
• Torn off a friend’s t-shirt, while getting jabbed in nose at a mosh pit
• Spent 4 days at home with dengue thinking that it was only just a regular fever...
• Refused to visit the doctor for the last 2 and half years even though I’m shivering with flu right now…
• Drowned…Only to be saved by my cousin at the last moment
• Spray painted public places and certain college walls with the trademark name and logo ;)…...( and got it on camera)
• Tried to rundown a bunch of children carrying fireworks at a Katina Perahara thinking they were a mob coming to torch me and the car…
• Gotten high, driven back home and woken up in the morning thinking how the hell I got here?
• Driven to Hikka in the middle of the night with bunch of friends after dancing around a late night fire for no particular reason…
• Choked my brother while he was punching me in the face…
• Spent my entire pocket money to buy nothing but audio cds from ProMedia during my school days
• Been embarrassed infront of opposite sex in worst ways possible
• Fallen in love with a psycho chick…
• Kept away from putting certain ideas into posts in fear certain people might read them
• Stopped others from doing a tagged post when they were tagged..bwahaha..
• Told you that I suck at these tagged posts..

Hmm guess better stop now.… For all the above the answer is Yes I have. Well any one reading this are welcomed to do their own post…would really love to see what you gotta say..

This Could Happen to You!

Ever had one of those strange coincidences that seemed really strange? Well something recently happened to me which seemed to fit the bill.

It was just an ordinary day, and I had just finished watching the supposed comedy "The Promotion". The movie takes places in a supermarket and is about two employees competing for a promotion. During the movie we see several scenes where a 'chunky' employee continuously helps himself to various products off the shelves.

One example of this involves him using a roll on deodorant before calmly replacing the cap and putting it back on the shelf. Now I was thinking that this could happen in real life too... and we would never know. How sick could that be? But 'nah'... that's just one of those things you think is happening but never really does.

Now I really needed to buy a bottle of gel, and so on that very same day I managed to go to Cargills to go get one. Popped in, plunked the gel on the checkout counter, paid the bill and then went off home. After that I didn't give the gel bottle another moments thought since I don't use it except on working days normally.

Still on the same day I just looked over the bottle sometime later, reading the label as it was a new type that I hadn't tried before. It was during this operation that my eye caught something. 'Hey... wait a minute. Is it just me or is the lid not on properly?' Upon closer inspection I discovered that I was correct, the lid was not on straight, and was actually slightly opened.

So doing the next sensible thing, I opened the bottle up to find that the internal polythene/foam/substance peel off had actually been opened. Clearly this wasn't a case of the bottle fallen to the ground...














After being a little grossed out and considering whether I could actually keep this bottle and use it, I came to a decision.

Shortly afterward I marched right back in there and explained the situation to the dudes and dudettes at Cargills. They were quite happy to change my reconditioned gel bottle.

If that isn't a weird coincidence, I don't know what is. Just remember, the next time you pick up a roll on deodorant, someone else might have used it already!